#whyimthankful

I have had a lot of time for reflection this month.  I can honestly say that the thing that I am most thankful for this year is my life.

Earlier this year after much praying and a whole lot of research, I made the decision to have gastric bypass.  My insurance covered it and so many of the health issues I deal with could be resolved with the surgery.  The risks are extremely low and the benefits seem to outweigh the risks,  There are so many people that I know that had weight-loss surgery that it changed and saved their lives.  I was ready for it!  I knew that there would be so many changes that went along with this new lifestyle, but it wasn't anything that I couldn't deal with.

My surgery was scheduled for 11/4 and the closer that I got to the date, the more excited, yet afraid I became.  This could be the one thing that would allow me to become pregnant!  I did everything I was supposed to leading up to the surgery.  The day before, I could only have clear liquids.  I thought that would be the worst day ever.  It was actually not bad at all and I really wasn't hungry.

The day of my surgery, I don't remember much. I know that I ate a green popsicle and I tried to walk around.  Everyone kept telling me that you will feel so much better once you start walking around.  I walked with David and began looking forward to going home the next day.  This would not happen, though.

I took a turn for the worst.  I developed a fever than just kept climbing with a heart rate around 150.  I was in so much pain that even the IV Demerol would only last for a few minutes.  My legs were practically hanging off of the hospital bed because I didn't have the strength to fully get back in.  By the time my dr came into see me, he knew something was wrong.  He made the decision to go back in and clean me out to make sure there wasn't something more going on.  My white blood cell count had gone up, in addition to the racing heart and fever.

By the time they got me back into surgery, my fever had gotten so high that I just kept seeing flashing lights.  I have never been so scared in my entire life because I had no idea what was going on.  I didn't know where I was or what was happening.  When I woke up in recovery, I just kept hearing one of the nurses say that I needed to be in ICU.  I was able to go back to my room, however.

During my second surgery, my dr discovered that there was a pinhole leak where my stomach and small intestines meet.  The leak was causing sepsis in my body which was why my fever was high and my white blood cell count was so high.  Dr put 2 drains in my abdomen to help get the nasty stuff out of me.  These were found to be very uncomfortable and I hated the way they smelled.

I finally got to come home that Monday and could not wait for a shower and to sleep in my own bed.  You don't know how much a shower can help you feel better until you have to go a while without one.

I cannot thank my mother, father, and husband enough for the care they have given me this path month.  I have required 24-hour care because I needed assistance getting out of bed and going to the bathroom.  Yes, I had to have someone wipe my behind.

I have had to make 2 more hospital visits because of dehydration since I was released.  I have also had my new stomach pouched stretched.  Every day is a new challenge for me, but I am learning to deal with it.  I sleep a lot now because for so long, I couldn't sleep.  I would wake up every hour with nausea so bad that the only thing that would relieve it was to dry heave.  Today is the first day that I haven't vomited which I will consider a victory!

My veins have been poked and prodded for IVs so much that my arms looked like a coloring book at one point.  They are healing now, so I am super happy about that.

The chances of complications with this surgery are like less than 1%.  Everyone that I knew that had weight-loss surgery had really good experiences and were very successful.  I am finally starting to heal and feel a little better each day.  I know that this time next year, I will look back on all of this and know it was worth it.  Until then, I will keep optimistic and be grateful that I made it through all of this and became a stronger, healthier woman because of it.